I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
