I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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