dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
