Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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