Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I can't turn off my feet"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
