I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize