just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
