Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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