So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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