im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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