this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
that may or may not have been my penis.
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