Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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