I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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