i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
