You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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