What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
