I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
