i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
