dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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