Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
