Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize