i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
