Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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