he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
