There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
