Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
