If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
