I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
