Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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