Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
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I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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