i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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