hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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