Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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