So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
