He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
