Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize