I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
