why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
