In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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