Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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