I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize