About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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