OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
