she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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