I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Randomize
