p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This is classic penis vs brain.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
