I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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