I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
