the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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