Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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