How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
