did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
