Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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