I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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