We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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