I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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