Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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