My brain says no but my pants say off.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
