What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
