I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
