He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
