Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
he's single and there are thong briefs.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
