but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
